This week's post is written by Tamás Vincze, a former cancer patient and the author of Eighteen and Cancer; a recently published book about his experience with the illness.
Cancer
ran in my family, just as I think it might have in yours or others you know. I
have unfortunately lost grandparents to it but never thought that it was
something waiting for me in life.
I’ll
take you back a few years to 2003 when I was eighteen. Life couldn’t have been
any better. School was out and the summer was in full swing. It was amazing.
More importantly I also planned what I wanted to achieve in the next few years
of my life (overachieving too runs in the family). The main goal was moving
abroad to live and study (I’m originally from Hungary). I felt everything was
aligning nicely in my life.
But
something happened after the summer. I’d feel more tired by the day, had
difficulties concentrating in school, experienced severe night sweats and so
on. It was like a bad case of the flu so I mostly ignored it. But one day I
woke up to a pain in my neck and chest, like two hands gradually suffocating
me. I felt my neck with my own hands and immediately rushed to the mirror.
Standing in front of it was one of those “what do I do now?” moments. Two big
lumps about the size of a golf ball. What the…? Could it…?
It
was. Stage II Hodgkin lymphoma. I started chemotherapy in late 2003. Cancer
turned my life upside down but I was very fortunate to have had the patience
and presence to pay attention to what was happening inside and around me.
Treatment lasted until the summer of 2004 and by that autumn I was in full
remission fortunately. I’m skipping the middle part as I don’t want to bore
you. It’s all in the book.
Why
write a book about my cancer story? Especially well after 10 years? Good
question. Not to play it down but I always thought that it was just as much of
a part of my life as where I grew up or went to school. Perhaps I felt this way
because it happened so early in my life. I also asked myself why would anyone
care about someone else’s cancer story. If you’ve been through it already why
would you want to read about it and if you are not touched by it then why
bother?
During
the early part of 2016, I read a very moving book called Not Fade Away.
It tells the story of a businessman who after retiring in 1997 at the age of
46, to spend more time with his family, unfortunately passed away in 2002 after
a battle with stomach cancer. It is a gem of a book about the shortness of life
and inspired me to start thinking about my own story and how would I share
that.
After
reading that book it was time to take action. I let go of all this fear in my
head and started writing. Turning my old notes and journals into this book and
reflecting more on this episode in my life, with more than a decade of
hindsight, was a very long process but I’m glad no one told me that before.
Writing out and sharing all those memories, emotions and experiences from this
journey was therapy.
Most
cancer books inadvertently turn into a misery memoir and not too many talk
about what happens in your mind when facing such adversity. How do you process
the news? How do you get out of that feeling of hopelessness that’s initially
there? These, amongst others, were some of the questions I was trying to answer
in this short book.
If you are a kindred spirit, have an inspiring story,
have any questions or just want to chat please feel free to reach out on
www.tamasvincze.com.
My
book is also available on Amazon.
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